Wednesday, January 6, 2010
i guess people will never understand. there will always be opposition, judgement, criticism, unhappiness, all these negative emotions for no reason at all.
people just do not understand. but it is okay, as long as the people who matter understand, it is enough. not everyone has to know everything in this world. but that doesnt mean, you misjudge what you do not understand and what you have not experienced.
people want and need different things. not everyone is the same, and yes not everyone will think the same.
& so, we'll slip on the mask of happiness, hide behind the mask of perfection in front of strangers. when in truth, we're hurting, we're scared, and we need to be loved.
My question to myself not so long ago, was, " would you still accept me if I took off all my masks?"
but with everything that has happened recently, the question of acceptance no longer exists. rather, I now know, that the person who WILL accept me, is not supposed to, not in the eyes of everybody else.
it's not that I dont know what I am doing. it's society which doesnt understand.
because, they've never felt this way before.
& now thanks to society, its all over.
♥our lips must always be sealed
1:48 AM
Saturday, June 27, 2009
cor te reducit - the heart leads you back.
baby, let me hold you tight. & maybe, just maybe you won't slip away and i won't have to let you go at all. this might last till the very end. cause i know we are meant to be. i love you with all of my heart & may you be by my side forever and ever
please don't leave me
♥our lips must always be sealed
1:45 AM
Thursday, March 5, 2009
I am so tired. so very very tired. why does it all seem so hard now, when it all began so smoothly? are these obstacles meant to break us or make us stronger? i don't seem to understand. these quarrels and these fights, they don't make sense to me.
are we trying to help each other, by wearing these masks that hide our feelings? or are we just tearing our relationship apart?
maybe we're just trying too hard; too hard to prove to everyone that this can work out. Trying so hard, that it turns back on us, such that this is not working at all.
every relationship would have its share of problems and obstacles; do we really love each other that much to set things back on track?
I love you Anastasia, and I want you to know that I am not going to give up on you. my love for you was true, is true and will forever be true.
I see you for who you are and i am ready to accept anything that comes our way.
Would you do the same for me?
are you willing to let us carry on and go as far as this path will bring us?
because we know that what we share is true-
♥our lips must always be sealed
12:22 AM
Monday, December 1, 2008
the day i gave you my heart anastasia. a day i will never forget.
that moment, that moment of impulse, i never knew i could be so thankful for the sudden surge of courage god gave me, but i did not know what i was doing and before it was too late i had blurted out all that i felt about anastasia. TO HER.
you took my hand, and you looked me in the eye.
I didn't know what to do; I was too scared to breathe.
but the next thing I knew, we were hugging and you were crying. you said that you felt the same way I felt towards you, and that you were afraid that you would lose our friendship if I found out. but i know now, that our friendship and our feelings towards each other was more than that. it couldn't just disappear nor could we just break apart, because now I know that we both need each other and love each other.
" Our love would be forever
And if we die
We die together
And lie, I said never
'Cause our love would be forever' "
♥our lips must always be sealed
8:00 AM
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
"The different ways lesbians have been portrayed in the media suggests that Western society at large has been simultaneously intrigued and threatened by women who challenge feminine gender roles, and fascinated and appalled with women who are romantically involved with other women.
Women who adopt the lesbian identity, however, share experiences that form an outlook similar to ethnic identity: as homosexuals, they are unified by the discrimination and potential rejection they face from their families, friends, and others." -wikipedia
I do not know if I am fascinated or appalled at physical or emotional relationships between 2 women. but i know that what i am feeling is true. i do love you.
Love has a few meanings:
1. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection
2. affectionate concern for the well-being of others
3. to need or require
is that all wrong? is it wrong to need someone, or feel affectionate towards them? if you can love your mother, why cant you love another girl?
why should love be judged? love can come in many forms. parent-child, sibling, cousin, friend.
and if all of this can be accepted. shouldnt the love we share, be acceptable too?
♥our lips must always be sealed
12:34 AM
Friday, October 10, 2008
i will never let you fall
i'll stand up with you forever
i'll be there for you through it all
even if saving you sends me to heaven.
"Bestfriends. The one’s you can’t stay mad at for long because you have important stuff to tell them."
I found this somewhere. its so true. I got pissed at her again today. but all she had to do was to text me saying she was sorry. and of course I couldn't stay mad at her any longer. which is always the case anyway. so why did things feel different this time round?
the way she makes me feel is almost unexplainable, so different from anyone else. i dont need anything else when im with her. all i need is her.
"your existence alone is enough to justify the creation of the entire universe."
i feel the need to talk to her every single day, to see her as much as possible. its as if any moment spent without her is just not worth anything at all.
i wonder if she feels the same way about me too. i wonder if she'll be skeptical about the way i feel, like how she is with everything that is out of the norm. ... ... and she has a special place in my heart.
♥our lips must always be sealed
6:57 PM
Monday, September 29, 2008
Exams ended today.
But I'm not happy. My head and heart is in a tangle, and neither can be understood.
I met her after the paper. and I hope, that she will be alright.
Dear, even if the world is going against you, i'll stand by you.
because you mean the world to me.
♥our lips must always be sealed
10:49 PM
Friday, July 4, 2008
tell me, is all of this an illusion?
how am I supposed to believe that all of this is real?
I want this, but I am also apprehensive.. would you leave if you found out this was the real me?
Is this who I am? do I have to learn to accept this side of me? I've always been against all of these. why this sudden change in me? why does this not feel right? why does it seem so painful?
What is bothering me? Is it how I feel? or is it just..me?
♥our lips must always be sealed
10:32 PM
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
i still do not get it. what joy do you get in this? what gains to do you get from this? how can you look at another girl in a way that you look at a guy? this is just utterly disturbing.
♥our lips must always be sealed
8:53 PM
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
i do not understand how two people of the same gender could be together. i mean, you know, together together... it just seems so wrong. being friends is one thing, but more than that? don't you think its so disgusting? to hold another girl's hand and to hug her and to spend time with her; not in the least bit as a friend, that just seems weird. what are these people even thinking???
♥our lips must always be sealed
11:13 PM
